My and Doofus

I am sitting in my living room, writing to the glow of Christmas lights strung from our windows, the bamboo Christmas tree in the corner, a Merry Christmas banner strung across our doorway.  The air conditioning is set at 25 degrees Celsius, and I remember that I am not in Wheaton, currently experiencing it’s first snow of the season.  I am in Jakarta, Indonesia, the other side of the world.  I am writing to the tune of crickets chirping and the torrential rains of rainy season.  I am writing in a tank top and shorts, and I have sweated multiple times today.  I had my hired helper prepare our meal tonight, and she’s actually going to prepare food every day this week, since Jeff is away.  Yes, I am certainly not in America! This is extra poignant as Jeff is on his way to our old home, getting ready for his dissertation defense later this week.  I am sad not to go, happy not to have to endure the long flight with two small children. 

But, let me save reflecting on our week apart and ending this dissertation journey later.  First, the start of the holiday season.  For a while now, I’ve been pureeing pumpkin and turning it into pumpkin cookies, pumpkin bread, pumpkin shakes, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin lattes—seasonal foods die hard, and somehow eating something that is made from pumpkin made it feel more like Thanksgiving was here.  Thanksgiving is just a normal day here, so Lydia went to school, Jeff went to work, and it really wasn’t sad since it all feels so different.  Thanksgiving week was also exam week for the International Teacher’s College (ITC) where Jeff works, so students were busy cramming in what they’d learned over the semester, and writing last minute papers. 

A recent display of sibling love to keep your attention. 

Wednesday of Thanksgiving week, several other faculty wives and I decided to bring the girls at ITC treats at their apartments.  We had fun each making 72 cookies, one for each student, and going room to room with cookie deliveries.  The girls live in a tall apartment building that makes me slightly terrified when I look out the window and see the traffic lights far far below.  I am a long way from learning all of their names, but since many of them go to the church where we attend, I am getting to know some of them.

I also have the opportunity to lead a conversation circle of 9 students, most of whom are freshman.  The conversation circle is a support group for newly arrived students as well as those second year students who need additional help with their English.  Don’t get me wrong—all of these students speak excellent English, and we have a fun time talking together.  Our final conversation circle of the semester was on Thanksgiving day, so I made an apple pie (thank you Diane Brown from World Relief ESL for the recipe and experiential learning that made this possible!!) for us to eat as we talked.

Thanksgiving night we had over Jeff’s care group—a different group of 9 students that he is in charge of supporting and mentoring.  They wanted American food, so I made the easiest food I could think of—spaghetti with salad, bread, and apple crisp for dessert.  I still have some learning on how to get everything to be ready at the same time for a larger group of people, but the students were gracious and helpful!  I was aiming to eat at 5, and we ate at 5:30, so I’ll call it a success.  We enjoyed a traditional Thanksgiving meal with several other American families that Friday night. 

Our season of parties ended last Friday with a Christmas party for my conversation circle.  They decorated cookies and created ornaments.  I was so impressed with their creativity, and I think we were the main beneficiaries.  When they left our house, it smelled like cinnamon, and our once bare bamboo tree was covered in beautiful ornaments that they’d created. 

Students decorating cookies

Creating gingerbread ornaments

Lydia feeding Jeff some of her orange at the Christmas party

Elias was a happy guy at the party.

Lydia, thrilled at all the ornaments on our tree.

Impromptu family picture after church with students jumping in.

Family Christmas picture on the campus of the ITC after church.

To end this post on the start of the holiday season, you may be wondering about the title, May and Doofus.  Every night for a long time now, and at nap time, Lydia has been requesting that we sing “Happy Birthday.” I’m not sure where the obsession with this song started, but I think we feed into it by allowing her to name those that she wants to sing happy birthday to. The list gets longer and stranger each night.  We now regularly fill in the names of not only Auntie Jojo, Uncle Adam, her animals, baby Lias, Mommy, Daddy, and other friends, but now we sing happy birthday to the wall, the windows, the door, the lights, basically anything she sees or remembers from her day.  She has also been asking that we sing happy birthday to Doofus.  For the longest time I’ve been wondering, who in the world is doofus?  I've never used the word doofus at home, has she heard it at school or on TV?   I finally figured it out when today after school she was talking about “My and Doofus,” and it suddenly clicked.  The season, the manger, the Christmas story…

Do you know who My and Doofus are? Leave your guess and I’ll tell you if you’re correct…

Lydia lined up all the characters of the nativity scene, including "My" and "Doofus" and then asked to take their picture. 

Three Months In

We've been here 3 months. I am starting to feel the 3 month mark--realizing that we aren't going back to see our friends in Wheaton, that there won't be a time where I feel like I can zip over to Target or Aldi to get something that I need, that most of my activities with the kids will consist of going on walks in our neighborhood, and visiting the school pool and playground.   You could say the honeymoon stage is wearing off.  That's not to say that I don't think that it's good to be here.  I do still think that this is good, and I am reminded on a regular basis of the many blessings God has given us in the transition to live here.  Here is a summary of things we've learned over these past 3 months.

Things that I've learned:

• Our kids are the stars.  Really.  They have blue eyes, and one of them has bright blond hair.  We are really just an accessory to our kids--both with Jeff's students, and with the Indonesian's we see in daily life.
• I have regained my sense of direction, and know where I am when I am driving around our area.
• I know where and how to go shopping for food.  In the beginning I felt like I had to go shopping everyday just to figure out what to buy and where to buy it.  Now, I have my weekly list, and we're getting into a pattern of when to shop.
• How to go shopping with two kids.
• How to express simple instructions to my helper in Indonesian.
• How to bake in my oven without burning everything.
• When to take a shower in the day so that I don't feel constantly sweaty.

Lydia loves to organize.  She lined up her Halloween candy like this on the table.

Things that Lydia has learned:

• She recognizes when we are turning in to our neighborhood.  
• She has somehow gained a fear of bugs, even tiny ants. One night, she pointed up at something on the ceiling and said, "ant." Well, actually it was a huge cockroach near her air conditioner! Later as we were reading bed time stories she pointed to something and said, "This one." It was another huge cockroach running around in her bookshelf.  Of course I screamed and jumped, and hopefully didn't teach her a fear of bugs...
• So much independence...climbing in and out of her own chair, washing her hands by herself, wanting to get in to her carseat.  Basically, the fight is "I do it" vs. Mommy needing to do it for her.
• To say, Terima Kasih (thank you) although it sounds more like kamikaze
• To eat mango.  She didn't like it when we first arrives, but asks for it, now!

Things Elias has learned:

• How to laugh at Lydia
• How to roll on his belly and scoot forward
• How to stay awake for longer than 2 hours at a time
• How to sleep anywhere (hopefully he won't loose this skill!) 

Visiting Jeff's office at the ITC

Things Jeff has learned:

• How to greet our neighborhood guards appropriately--good morning, good afternoon, good evening, goodnight
• How to ride his bike to/from school in 10 minutes
• How to drive Indonesia style (I think he enjoys getting to zoom around whoever is in his way.  Let's just say it came pretty naturally to him).
• How to drink sub-par beer when necessary
• How to be flexible in a cross-cultural working environment that is both rigid and constantly changing.
• Which Indonesian dishes are good almost anywhere you go, and won't give any digestive issues
• How to have patience at a pace of life that is unpredictable and at times contradictory
• How to eat meals with two screaming children 

What are we doing?

Some of you may be asking, what are you doing over there? Are you missionaries? Are you working? And why in Indonesia? We are not missionaries in the sense that it's usually understood--we are not with a missions agency, we didn't have to raise support, and Jeff does have a job at a University. We are here intentionally and with the hopes of living missionally, just as we would hopefully be living in the United States.  We have prayerfully and intentionally brought our family to live cross-culturally as we've followed God's leading to use our gifts in a part of the world that is close to our hearts.  We are living in a culture that is predominantly Muslim and where the gospel is desperately needed.  As I write this, I can hear the Imam's call to prayer through the loudspeakers that fill the city.  We have put ourselves (or rather, God has) in a new place and a season of change with all of the stresses that come along with it, and so we are getting the opportunity to lean in to Jesus as we feel our weakness more keenly. (This is something that can happen with any change in life, it doesn't necessarily take moving to another country.)  We are praying that God would show us how to serve and love him in this place, how do we do this as a family and in a season with young children.

We don't have answers for these questions, yet, but I do feel that God is showing a way that we can move forward in these areas.  And most of it isn't glamorous or even as frequent or "big" as I'd like. It looks like college student ministry.  It looks like baking cookies with students and having them over for dinner, teaching them good theology and teaching methodology, being faithful to meet with them when they have questions, learning Indonesian, plugging into a church, teaching our kids to pray, gradually stepping into the culture as we are able (which generally means leaving our town, which is why it only happens in bits and pieces).  Baking my first batch of cookies with my Indonesian tutors and having a group of students cook in our kitchen felt so familiar, it brought back memories of countless activities with college students when we taught EFL.

Ugandan and Filipino students.

A Cambodian student cooking one of her dishes. It was so yummy! My first time to eat Cambodian food.

It was great to have time to get to know them better.

Busy students cooking Cambodian, Filipino, and Chinese food.  They did a great job! We had a feast.

Lydia was the star of the show since Elias was sleeping.

So what ARE we doing here?  We came because Jeff was offered the unique opportunity to work with a group of international students at the ITC (International Teacher's College), a college that is accredited by a US institution and offers two different majors: Primary Education and Secondary Education with a concentration in English.  The vision of the school is to produce graduates who have a Biblical worldview and who can return to their countries as excellent teachers and shape the next generation.  This is a small school of around 100 students, and they will be graduating their first class of about 13 in the spring.  Along with teaching methodology classes and all of the usual gen eds, there are several required Bible classes.  Jeff was hired as a New Testament lecturer, but in reality his class load is diverse since the faculty is so small.  He teaches a class on "Acts and the Early Church," an Introduction to Education class, and Classroom Management.  Almost all of the College's 100 students are in one of his 3 classes, so he has the opportunity to get to know almost all of them, and the challenge of learning all of their names.

On the left, the second floor above the pool, is where the offices and classrooms for the ITC are located.

Jeff's walk to campus in the mornings.

All but 2 of the students are on full-ride scholarships made possible by a foundation called the Yayasan Pendidikan Pelita Harapan (briefly more on this below); otherwise they would not be able to attend. The students are particularly selected because of the need for Christian education in countries where this is not as developed. The freshman class has 9 countries represented in it: the Philippines, China, Myanmar, Cambodia, Thailand, Indonesia, Poland, Uganda, and Kenya.  All of these students hope to return to their own countries as teachers when they graduate.  Some of them are as young as 17, the oldest is 27 and several of them already have degrees and years of teaching experience under their belts already.  I've had the opportunity to get to know some of them through helping to lead a Conversation Circle of 9 students.  It is so encouraging to hear their stories about how God led them here, and I've been challenged by their faith in him as well as their desire to serve him through teaching.  Jeff says that the students are wonderful to work with--most of them want to be there, and they don't take the opportunity to study there for granted.  All of them had to have certain TOEFL scores (an English test) in order to enroll since all of the classes are taught in English.

Besides the students, there is a small team of about 7 faculty, and 4 staff that Jeff has really enjoyed getting to know.  They regularly share ideas as they build curriculum and best practices with such a new school.  Three of the other faculty live in our neighborhood, and Jeff often walks to school with the dean. The school has a family feel to it, and even though I don't teach there, every time I take the kids to the office to eat lunch with Jeff, I have felt welcomed and appreciated by his colleagues.

The ITC school is a smaller subset within a larger university called the Universitas Pelita Harapan (often referred to by its initials UPH and pronounced "oo-pay-hah"). In Indonesia, this school is often known as the school for rich Chinese kids, however, underneath the surface is a very interesting model for being solvent while also expanding the Kingdom of God. In essence, the school uses tuition rates from its prestigious schools in order to fund scholarships for students who can't afford schooling. The foundation that manages this is the Yayasan. Nearly 1,000 students from all over Indonesia are accepted to the university each year through these scholarships which provide room and board, tuition, uniforms, and the students' first job.  It is not a requirement for a student to be a Christian, so many of these students are also hearing the gospel for the first time.

The ITC is a part of this larger vision of offering education to those unable to afford it by extending these scholarships outside Indonesia to make an impact around the world for Christian education. The students at ITC are likewise fed, clothed, housed, educated, given their first job, and paid through the same unique program; however, the students must express a personal Christian faith in order to attend.

At the risk of losing you all with this long post, I'll leave it there, but will post more later on Yayasan foundation that makes it possible for the school to operate, and their larger vision for Indonesia and this part of the world.

 

Entering In

If you haven't been able to tell from the posts and pictures already, we are living a pretty privileged life in a pretty privileged place over here.  We are living with the elite in the exclusive, secluded, 1% (or so) lifestyle of the rich Indonesian.  Others have called it a bubble, and that is truly what it feels like.  I alternate between being consumed with the daily tasks that come with taking care of small children, and feeling frustrated that it is so difficult to really enter in to the culture here.  There are few surprises, few of those gift-moments of being invited in to the home of an Indonesian, of really learning who they are, and experiencing their lives. To be honest, there are few interactions with the locals besides those who work for us, and between us there is a large power distance that I don't know if I am either allowed or able to bridge.  (Reverse the scale of privilege and power distance, and I imagine many of our refugee friends in the US feel exactly this same way.)  

Any chance I have to get out of the bubble, I embrace.  Maybe that's why something that would be frustrating in the states is an adventure here (at least, on the good days!), and having twists and turns in the day is actually exciting.   My most recent opportunity to get out of the bubble was this past Friday when I took Elias to the hospital to get his four month immunizations. I knew where the hospital was located, but everything else--parking, finding the doctor inside, payment--all of that was unknown.  My first accomplishment was actually making it to the hospital.  I am becoming more confident on the pot-hole riddled roads here, with the swerving cars and motorbikes flooding around me as I drive.  I walked in holding Elias, and must've looked bewildered.  A nice woman came up to me and asked, "Pediatrics?" in English. My baby gave me away.  "Insurance or no insurance?" "Insurance," I answered.  And thus began a morning of wandering up to counters and hoping that the person behind them would understand me and know where to direct me next.

All along the way, nice people, who could speak enough English to let me know what was going on, guided me through the process of signing up for the correct doctor, waiting in line to see her, and payment.  I felt a LOT of empathy with the many refugees I worked with at World Relief who must've experienced the exact same feelings, and yet many of them without the benefit of someone explaining the process to them in their own language.  The experience left me both grateful and motivated to learn Indonesian.  At the end of the morning, we emerged from the hospital, Elias sleeping after his traumatic experience of receiving two shots, and me with the smiling face of Elias' new pediatrician in my memory.

Elias survived his shots and is still smiling!

There are other ways I am trying to enter in, here.  One very life-giving highlight to my week is studying Indonesian with two of Jeff's Indonesian students from the ITC (International Teacher College).  I pick Rachel and Grace up at the bus stop outside of campus every Tuesday and Thursday at 1 PM, and they patiently help me labor through Indonesian until 2:30 when I bring them back to campus.  Being on this side of language learning reminds me just how difficult it is, and just how much repetition it takes, and how much effort on the part of the learner to apply it to daily life.  Until I can use what they teach me without looking at my cheat sheets when I'm out and about, I don't truly know the new vocabulary and phrases.  I was so excited when I was able to communicate with the butcher at the grocery store what kind of meat I wanted, how many packs, and that I could tell him "enough" when he asked if I wanted any more.  Today, I was able to tell my helper what food to buy at the market, and what to cook tonight. Another time, we were able to have a conversation about foods we liked, and foods she knew how to cook.  Progress!  Of course, following the progress, there are moments when I can't even remember the word for "I," and hopelessly reach for my phone and the google translate app.

Rachel, Grace, and I at one of our quieter afternoon study sessions.

We tried to do a candid study shot but we are all smiling! 

Indonesian is a very forgiving language, and it is not grammatically challenging.  Actually, pronouns are some of the more challenging parts of this language.  When I talk about not remembering the word for I, that's because there are multiple words for "I"--formal, informal, and for using when talking with someone older than you.  Addressing someone is all about relationship and age.  With my Indonesian teachers, Jeff's students, I use the informal I/you pronouns--"Aku/Kamu".  But if Lydia were talking with them, she would call them the word for older sister, "Kakak." If I were to meet someone for the first time, I would use "Saya/Anda" for I and you.

While pronouns take some navigation because they are so cultural, the alphabet is romanized, so it is even easier to learn to read than Lao.  Learning a new language always brings an old language to the forefront of your memory, so I think my Lao has probably improved a lot over the past two months, ha!  I am constantly trying to filter out the Lao from the Indonesian, and occasionally am mixing up languages when I communicate.  For some reason, when I can't think of or don't know the correct Indonesian word, I use the Lao word.  It makes me miss Laos more, and there's part of me that worries I'm going to lose my Lao as Indonesian gradually becomes the more familiar foreign language to me.

Another way we've tried to enter in is by attending Indonesian language classes at the campus church for the past 3 Sundays.  A married Indonesian couple from the church graciously gave of their time to plan and lead the lessons for us.  The woman is a teacher at Lydia's school, and the man is a professor of music at the Conservatory.  After the Sunday service we'd eat lunch together and then have some time for the lesson, with childcare provided!  They taught us how to introduce ourselves, talk about our jobs, and say what we want to buy at the market.

Today after Lydia's class, we met our Sunday Indonesian teacher in the hallway.  She invited us to try some Indonesian snacks being sold by one of the school workers.  This simple invitation to eat some snacks together, the opportunity to try to choose food using the Indonesian language, all of this was a small gift to us.  We tried a snack of sticky rice and chicken wrapped in a palm leaf, small cream puffs, and a few fried spring rolls and biscuits with veggies in the middle.

Lydia at school today enjoying her snack before we tried the Indonesian snacks.

I am praying that God would give us more ways to enter in, and that God would give us opportunities to invite people in who we can learn from.  For now, the best thing I know how to do is to keep plugging forward with language learning, and to take advantage of any opportunities for experiencing this culture that come our way--even if it means missing a grocery shopping trip, loading two children up in a stroller and packing up the diaper bag--it's all worth it!

Entering in through snacks.

The Wheels on the Bus

Here come the kids out to meet their parents! Lydia is the only blonde girl in the class.

A frequent request from Lydia is to sing, "The Wheels on the Bus." This is a request that is easy to grant, and so I have sung the Wheels on the Bus more times than I can count.  Lydia's class sings this song as they come walking out to meet the parents.  Does anyone know what the Daddy's on the bus say? I make it up every time!

When Lydia first started attending the class, it was challenging for her and me.  She would cry, cling to me, and basically have to be peeled from my arms.  We entered her in the class because we thought it would be a fun way for her to make friends, and it's only twice a week for two hours each time.  She enjoyed the Early Childhood Program she attended in the states, so we thought this would be a good continuation.  Although it's taken a few weeks, I am happy to report that this is the first week that she eagerly walked into class, didn't request, "I go home," and showed her teacher a stick she picked up in the playground.  She didn't even look back at me!

Lydia is attending an international school called Sekolah Pelita Harapan (SPH) that is only about half a mile down the road from us.  It has pre-kindergarten through 12th grade, and is a very rigorous school with a beautiful campus.  Every Tuesday and Thursday, in an attempt to get some exercise, I load the kids up in the stroller at 7:30 AM and make the trek down the road to the campus for the 8 AM start time.  It's a nice walk, and the humidity isn't too bad at that time of day.  Of course, I arrive sweaty and red-faced, even on the days I decide to walk to campus and save the jogging for the trip home.

Getting ready to head out.

Here we go! Elias looks a little worried.

Through the gate out of our taman.

Down the main road that leads to the school.

The lobby of the school.

Walking towards Lydia's part of campus.

Down the hall to the classroom.  Elias is a little blinded.

There's a wonderful playground and pool on campus.  The playground is probably the best one I've seen for kids Lydia's age, and the pool is beautiful.  We take advantage of both, especially on the weekend, since there aren't many parks around here.  After we arrive at school, Lydia plays on the playground for a few minutes, and then we go inside, hang up her backpack, get out her snack and water bottle, and say goodbye.

The path to the pool.

Lydia driving the car on the playground.

Elias and I jog home, and I have a little bit of time to myself if he decides to fall asleep in the stroller.  Pick-up is at 10 AM, so we load up the car and head back to school to get her at around 9:45.  It's so fun to see those kids' beaming faces when they walk down the hallway and see their parents.

There are three wonderful teachers in Lydia's class; a Filipino man and two Indonesian women. The class is taught in English. There are about 12 two and three year olds in the class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  They have time to play, they learn about a letter and the sound it makes, read books, eat snack, and sing songs.

Today we had a special treat and got to see daddy at lunch time.  He was at the school with his students who were doing observations, so we met up with him.

Daddy and Lydie walking through the Sr. High Canteen (Cafeteria). 

This is Elias' usual look (and Daddy's).

We had to tempt Lydia to look at the camera with the water bottle.  

And here they all are!

We're thankful for the opportunity for Lydia to attend this school, and we're thankful for a play area so close to home!

Welcome to Our Home

A first look at our new city the morning after we arrived.

Before we came to Indonesia, we tried to prepare Lydia by reading a story about going on an airplane, and talking about our new house.  “New house!” was a phrase we heard from her frequently during our first few weeks here.  Here are some pictures and thoughts on our new house and surrounding area. 

Our new house.

The area where we live is called a “Taman”—comparable to a subdivision in the states.  Our taman is quiet, beautifully landscaped, and filled with other expats (people who are originally from other countries but have relocated here) who also work at Jeff’s school, or at the international school down the road.  This has made it easy to ask questions and get to know people.  There’s a playground in our Taman that Lydia has enjoyed exploring, and has been the genesis of some of her many mosquito bites. We frequently hear the request, "I play playground." Lydia says, "smell good" when I rub the citronella oil on her to keep away the mosquitos before we go outside.  It is a staple at most grocery stores here, and can be found in the space that by the checkout where you'd find mints, gum, and candy in the states.  

Lydia playing in the playground across from our house.

All year round, the sunlight is from about 6 AM – 6 PM, and sometimes in the evening I like to go on walks when Jeff gets back before it gets completely dark.  Here are some of the sights from our Taman.

A field at the edge of our taman.

The view down our street.

Houses in our neighborhood are grand and ornate.  The house the school prepared for us is very beautiful and spacious, although not homey. We’ve been encouraged as we’ve visited the homes of those who’ve been here longer, that it’s possible to make this feel like home, it just takes time.  The floors here are made from a beautiful stone tile that is probably much cleaner than carpet but incredibly HARD.  When Jeff and I walked in and saw the tall staircase of stone tile stretching to the second floor, we had immediate visions of falls and cracked heads.  But it turns out this is the norm here, every house we’ve seen has a staircase like ours and hard stone floors.  Lydia already had one tumble, and has added the phrase, "fall down stairs," "careful," and "sippippy" (slippery) to her vocabulary.  We must say these to her a lot! We were also surprised that there isn’t a bathtub in the house, so Lydia has had to adapt to taking a bath in a tub I found at our local “Wal-Mart.”

Lydia had mixed feelings about this bathtub at first, but she's adjusting now! (Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to get this picture to turn).

Our living room is large and has very high ceilings which makes it feel even bigger.  It’s perfect for a sitting area for adults, and a play space for the kids.  I also like the set up of the kitchen which has a nice eating area and an island that looks into the kitchen with lots of counter space. 

Lydia in the living room.

Mommy's "helper" in the kitchen.

The eating area looking into the play area.

There's a door in the kitchen that leads to the laundry area, storage, a helper’s quarters (more on that later) and a random room that we could use, but we don’t currently since it’s through the helper’s quarters. 

Upstairs there are 3 spacious bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.  Each bedroom has a closet with an area for hanging clothes as well as shelves.  Most people don’t have dressers here, and keep all the clothing in the closet.  Most of the furniture you see in the house came with it, although we purchased some from Ikea.

I love this view out our bedroom window (the picture doesn't do it justice).  Can you find Elias?

We occasionally share our home with unwelcome guests—some winged bugs found their way under the door and were flying around our ceiling lights.  Ants are a constant reality here, and we have a few friendly geckos living on our walls that help keep away the bugs.  Last night I had to deal with my first huge cockroach!

We are blessed to have a beautiful home, and we had our first guests over for dinner this past weekend—I had to go buy some extra settings of silverware to prepare, and we realized that we only had 4 chairs in the house, so had to ask our guests to bring one along with them!

Slowly but surely its becoming ours, but it still has a long way to go! We look forward to opportunities to welcome some of you in person in the future!

Lydia standing on our front porch.

Mommy and Lydie.