The Birth of Baby Titus

There's nothing like having a baby for completely slowing down life and changing the pace of the year.  This Christmas season I feel disoriented as to where we are in the calendar year.  The fact that it's still "summer" outside doesn't help, either! Before time slips too far away from me, I wanted to tell Titus' birth story for those who are interested.

            When I found out I was pregnant with our third child, we were of course excited, but also filled with a little trepidation.  Many expats before us had given birth at our local hospital, which is an international hospital, but we’d also heard stories of procedures and practices here that were far different from the way things are done in the US. In many ways, both Jeff and I felt like we were having a first child again.  We no longer felt like we were walking the familiar path of, “we’ve done this before,” which we felt with Elias.

            I already missed my single-practice OB office in Wheaton as I walked into the hospital for my first appointment.  Here, all doctors practice at the hospital, so you go to the hospital for day-to-day appointments.  Healthcare is a communal experience far from private.  You register for an appointment the day of, and are given a number to show where you stand in the line-up of appointments for the day.  However, all appointments are first come, first serve.  So, you can never be sure what time your appointment will be, or how long you’ll wait.  Additionally, although the doctor’s hours may be listed to start at 9, often I would see the doctor walking in at 9:30 or closer to 10.  I learned after those first couple of appointments not to show up right when the doctor’s hours began, and to always bring something to work on so that the wait wouldn’t bother me. 

            At every OB appointment, the doctor performs an ultrasound.  It was fun to get to see the baby every time I went in, but sometimes I felt that the doctor over-reacted to the information in the ultrasound, and heightened my anxiety levels.  One thing I appreciated about my doctor in Wheaton was that he was extremely level-headed, and always made me feel that what was going on in my body was natural and not a reason for alarm.  Near the end of my pregnancy the doctor here kept remarking how big my baby was.   

Which leads to one of the biggest differences between giving birth here verses the US.  Here, it’s the norm that if you give birth in the hospital, you will have a C-section.  This is primarily due to the fact that doctors are paid more for doing C-sections. Each time the doctor mentioned how big my baby was, I could almost hear his thought process…if my baby was “too big,” of course I’d need a cesarean.  Each time an issue arose, I felt my anxiety levels rise, wondering if I’d be forced into an unnecessary c-section.  A few weeks before Titus’ delivery, Jeff came with me to the doctor’s office to clarify and emphasize our desires for the birth.  At that appointment, the doctor presented us with a release form to sign, which listed the various types of birth scenarios and with a check mark next to the option I had chosen.  Each type of birth had the various risks listed underneath.  As I looked at the list, the risks for vaginal births was far longer than the list of risks for a cesarean.

            Most likely because it is so common to have a cesarean, epidurals here are extremely rare.  This also filled me with a lot of anxiety.  Every single expat I’d talked to who’d given birth in the hospital and had planned and talked with the doctor beforehand about having an epidural hadn’t had one when it came time to give birth.  Either the anesthesiologist hadn’t been available, or the person had arrived at the hospital too late to receive one.  I had an epidural for both Lydia and Elias, and giving birth entirely naturally was not something I’d ever wanted to experience.  I knew I’d need to do some mental preparation and just plan that I’d be having a totally natural birth, rather than falsely hoping in an epidural that was never going to happen. 

            After doing some research into the options available here in Indonesia for aiding in a natural birth, I discovered an online 6 week study program that would prepare me to give birth naturally and as easily as possible using self-hypnosis. It sounds strange, but several of my friends had used the program and recommended it, so I thought I’d give it a try.  Doing a 6 week study course with two other children seemed like a big commitment, but I was glad I did it in the end.  It definitely helped me have the mental strength for the birth, and in some ways, the last month of my pregnancy I felt better and more prepared than I did earlier in the pregnancy.   

            Leading up to Titus’ birth I’d had a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions, but I knew that this didn’t necessarily indicate he was coming soon.  Both Lydia and Elias were born before their due dates, so I had a similar expectation for baby #3, although I knew that expectation could disappoint.  The night before he was born, Jeff and I were at a Bible study with some other couples in our community, and I was feeling so uncomfortable from the Braxton Hicks.  We asked everyone to pray that the baby would be born soon.  Early the next morning, around 3 AM, I woke up feeling what I recognized as contractions.  They were pretty far apart, about every 10 or 15 minutes, and they didn’t last long.  I was able to rest in bed without feeling uncomfortable, but I wasn’t able to go back to sleep because my adrenalin had already started going—this was probably going to be the day he was born! I listened to the tracks from my self-study course as I rested in bed and mentally prepared for the day.

            Around 5:30 when Jeff woke up, I told him that I was feeling contractions but that they were still pretty far apart and not very long.  We tried to decide what we should do—should he go to work still since he had class that morning? Was I still able to care for Elias while Lydia was at school?  I got up and went downstairs to help Lydia get ready for school.  As soon as I got up and started moving around, the contractions got more intense and closer together, but they still weren’t regular.  I told Jeff that he needed to take Elias with him to drop off Lydia at school, and that he shouldn’t go to work, yet, but wait until 8 to see how things progressed since his classes didn’t start until 8:30.  I went upstairs and laid down on my bed, listening to the self-hypnosis tracks on my phone.  By this point it was about 6:45 and it was getting harder to concentrate on the tracks.  I started texting people to let them know that this was probably the day, but I still didn’t let my doctor know.  I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible. 

            Soon I realized that things were going more quickly than I’d anticipated.  I texted Jeff at 7:20 saying I needed him.  Some of our friends came by to pick up Elias shortly after that. I texted my doctor to tell him that I was in labor and would probably be at the hospital in about an hour.  I also texted an Indonesian lady from church, Ibu Eva, who was going to help during my birthing time.  (Ibu literally means mother but is the term of respect you use for a woman older than you).  She was a nurse midwife who’d assisted with many births throughout Indonesia when she worked with WHO.  She currently teaches at the Faculty of Nursing at the University where Jeff teaches. 

After that, I really needed to focus and could only concentrate on what needed to be done between waves.  Jeff finally came and I told him we needed to go to the hospital.  I thought I’d better get in the shower before we left, and also to keep myself comfortable as he packed everything up in the car.  Once I got in the shower I felt better but everything was getting more intense, and I knew I was going to have a hard time getting out of the shower.  It took a while, but finally I made it down the stairs and into the car.  I told Jeff I couldn’t sit in the front seat, and told him to open the trunk of our van.  I vaguely saw a neighbor walking by who probably thought it was strange as I got into the trunk, but at that point I didn’t care.  There was no way I was going to sit in the passenger seat.   I just knew that we had to get to the place where I was giving birth, and get there quickly, because I already felt nauseous and the discomfort was getting more and more intense.  I couldn’t concentrate on my birth tracks at all at that point.  I closed my eyes as we drove to the hospital (only about 7 minutes away) and counted all the turns we made so I’d know when we were there. 

When we were there and Jeff opened the trunk of the car, I waited till I could move than got out and made my way into the hospital. At this point it was about 8:30. Arriving at the hospital for a delivery you go to the main entrance where everyone enters and there’s always a general hub-bub of people coming and going.  It’s not private and there’s no one available to wheel you to the labor and delivery room in a wheelchair, so I did the best I could to make it inside and up the elevator between waves.  When I finally arrived on the third floor labor and delivery, I must’ve slightly scared the security guard because he ran and got me a wheelchair, helped me into it, and raced me into the labor and delivery room as fast as he could.  The nurses came in and checked me, at that point they said I was 6 or 7 cm dilated.  The doctor came and wanted to do an ultrasound to check for the baby’s head position.  He couldn’t see the head, but I didn’t care at that point.

They made me breath into an oxygen mask during contractions to help the baby get enough oxygen, which made me a little worried since I didn’t know if that was normal procedure or not. Ibu Eva and Ibu Evelyn, my two nurse friends, came at that point and were very helpful in focusing me on breathing and rubbing my back which was where most of the contractions were happening.  From the time we got to the hospital until he was born it was very intense. 

The most frustrating part of the experience is the fact that while I was laboring, the hospital staff wanted Jeff to go downstairs and register.  There were lots of people in the room saying he needed to go down and pay and that we needed to provide certain documents and information.  We were both frustrated because it felt like this was something that could be done ahead of time, not during the labor.  We’d tried to find a way to register and give a down payment in advance, but basically, there was no way to do that in the system.  I told Jeff he could not go downstairs and register, and thankfully Ibu Eva and Ibu Evelyn helped with the documents. It was also especially helpful because Ibu Eva speaks both Bahasa Indonesia as well as English, and could help translate as needed since all the nurses spoke only Bahasa Indonesia.
Once I started pushing, my water broke. After pushing for a while and it seeming like the baby would never come, I asked Jeff to turn on my hypnobabies track, “Pushing baby out.” As the track played outloud in the room, I relaxed and with a few final last pushes he arrived! What a relief!  I was so happy and thankful to be done, and my stomach already felt so light and free, and so much more comfortable.  There is really nothing quite like the feeling of relief, happiness, and joy in the moments after giving birth.  Nine months of waiting finally over! The discomfort of carrying a growing child finished! The physical discomfort of the actual childbirth done!  

It was 9:54 AM, he was born a little less than an hour and a half after we arrived at the hospital.  He was healthy, and I asked to hold him right away. They put him up on my chest for a minute and as I held him he looked up at me and was completely calm.  They had Jeff cut the cord and then they wrapped Titus all up in lots of blankets.  They weighed and measured him.  He was 3.66 kg (about 7 pounds and 15 ounces) and 52 cm long (20.5 inches).  The doctor remarked on what a big baby he was, but I assured him that he was average size for the US.

All wrapped up like a baby burrito.

They asked what his name was, and Jeff and I finally made our decision, Titus Melvin Spanogle.  Titus means “Defender” and is one of the leaders of the early church that Paul wrote a letter to in the New Testament.  Melvin is the name of Jeff’s grandfather—his mom’s father—who was a godly man, and the name of one of Jeff’s best friends from seminary who was in our wedding.  

Feeling celebratory and starving, I had Jeff go downstairs and bring me a tea and breakfast sandwich from the coffeeshop, and we ate and waited for my room to open up.  At about noon they moved me from Labor and Delivery up to my own room. 

Overall, I can't complain about my birthing experience in Indonesia.  I thank God for a healthy baby without complications, a birth that was straight forward and fast, and a quick recovery.  God answered my prayers and provided me with the strength that I needed to give birth naturally, and he provided the people and methods I needed to help me do it.    

Siblings meeting for the first time.

 

Sweet family photo taken by a local photographer, Lissa.

Lydia loves baby Titus.  He gets more kisses than anyone else in the family.

Elias' love can be a little aggressive, but Titus has stayed safe.